We live in a culture where it is considered cool to fit in with everyone else, where we are often frowned upon if we dare to step outside of standard everyday expectations for life and because of this most of us place much of our efforts into fitting in, not wanting to rock the commonplace boat.
The problem is, we weren’t born to fit in. In fact I believe we are each sent here with a personal mission and when we spend our lives trying to fall in line with the implied expectations of the world, trying to live, think and be something we are not all, what we are actually doing is dismissing our own power and robbing everyone else of the gift we came to this world to share.
To make matters even worse, this kind cultural conditioning has caused us to look outside ourselves for approval, reassurance, even love and unfortunately, we often disregard ourselves to get it, completely oblivious to the fact it is only within ourselves that these things can truly be found.
It seems to me that many of us live in a way that is backside up, believing that fitting in with the status quo is power, when in fact this in itself is our weakness, comparable to Superman and kryptonite because as we attempt to stay steady in this boat of commonplace, we pull ourselves away from who we really are. Disconnect from ourselves and when we do this we are like a boat out to sea with no anchor, vulnerable to each change of wind, or strong current of disapproval. What is even more unfortunate than the fact that, this way of being has the potential to weaken and slowly kills us inside, is the fact that it is completely unnecessary.
You see, we each have our own inbuilt anchor. However, in order for us to utilize it, we need to be in full connection with our authentic selves. Not what our parents, friends or media says that we are or say is right for us but what we feel is right and true for ourselves as individuals. When we begin to honour who we really are. We get to experience true power because we begin to live in alignment with our inner anchor, that part of us that knows without us knowing, that attracts without us pulling, that sees without us searching. Carl Rogers (renowned psychologist and creator of the globally recognized and practised Person Centred Therapy) called it our Actualizing Tendency. Others call it an inner guide, a higher power, God, the universe. For the purpose of this text I’m going to call it our inner anchor but whatever your label, it resides within us all and when we deny ourselves we also deny that power.
For this reason, it is so important that we get to understand who we truly are, what drives us. What has meaning and purpose for us, that we make friends with and love ourselves because it is that very love for self that connects us to this power. You see, contrary to popular belief, the purpose of self- love isn’t just so we can serenade that cheating ex with the famous Beyoncé’s lyrics ‘to the left, to the left’ and mean it or so we sidestep unhealthy situations (though these are all great perks) the deeper purpose of self-love is to help us to connect with our inner anchor, so we can begin to live and be guided from that space that brings with it our true power.
So many of us lead stressed out, depressed lives because we have been so busy trying to fit in that we have divorced ourselves, given away our power, become adrift at sea and that stress, that depression, that discontentment is our inner anchor trying to offer us more. More of what? You may ask and my answer is more of life because when we live from that space of alignment with who we really are, we get to live a life of purpose, meaning, of miracles. We get to live life as intended, sharing what we came to offer with the world.
‘Our true power lies within and when we connect to this we are powerful beyond measure’
Written by Angelena Lewis
Personal Empowerment Expert & Certified Life Coach and the Founder of LIVIN FOCUS, for more information, click here